Navigate Co-Founder Conflicts with Depth & Clarity
Transform how you lead and partner by resolving the hidden forces that drive conflict, creating the foundation for a thriving business and a partnership built to last.
"65% of startups fail due to unresolved tensions and conflicts among co‑founders"
Noam Wasserman, author of The Founder's Dilemma
Co‑Founder Conflict: The Two Layers
Uppercurrent (what you can contract):
Write the recurring flashpoints into your agreements so they’re predictable and enforceable.
Money: Equity & cash
Set vesting (incl. cliff/acceleration), good‑/bad‑leaver rules, buyback pricing, salary/bonus/dividend policy, and spend/fundraising approval thresholds.Norms: Roles & rules
Map decision rights (who has final say on product, hiring, budget), clarify time commitment/availability, set updates cadence, and codify IP assignment & confidentiality.Vision: Direction & exit posture
Define when a pivot needs unanimity vs. majority, align on mission/values, and record your exit philosophy (e.g., acceptable acquirers, price floors).Breakup & dispute path: How we separate if needed
Transfer controls (e.g., ROFR/co‑sale), deadlock tools (independent tie‑breaker), and a step clause (negotiate → mediate → arbitrate).
Undercurrent (what drives the fight):
The human layer—stress, history, and identity—shapes how conflict shows up.
Money often triggers scarcity and zero‑sum postures.
Norms friction signals role ambiguity and fairness concerns. Handled early, it can improve quality, change, and organisational effectiveness.
Vision disputes touch identity & meaning and correlate most with drops in team effectiveness if unmanaged.
Trauma‑informed habits help: make work predictable (clear agendas, decision logs), promote psychological safety (no‑blame postmortems), add opt‑in pacing and boundaries, and use structured repair (how we apologise/recover).
The Founder Alignment Program
This program is for you if…
You want to move forward, but what you’ve tried so far isn’t working, and you’re ready for a fresh outside perspective.
Trust between you has slipped, and it’s starting to affect decisions, speed, and morale.
One or both of you have quietly wondered whether continuing together is still possible or healthy.
You’ve begun micromanaging each other, trying to regain control where trust is lacking.
You both expect to be involved in every decision, and frustration builds when you’re not.
You’ve structured the business to avoid each other, but it’s now blocking growth and clarity.
You’re ready to turn tension into productive dialogue instead of endless debate.
You’re willing to take radical self-responsibility for your part in what’s not working and to co-create a healthier dynamic that serves both of you and the business.
From Friction to Flow: What Healthy Co-Founder Alignment Looks Like
RED FLAG
Avoiding the tough conversations because they always end in tension
One founder drives every decision, the other checks out
Meetings drain energy or feel like battles
No time for each other beyond firefighting
Fuzzy or overlapping roles
Competing for recognition with investors, team, or press
Decisions stall because alignment feels impossible
The company feels heavy or joyless
Talking about each other more than to each other
One founder handles emotions, the other avoids them
Considering a split because “it’s easier than talking
HEALTHY PATTERN
We bring up what matters early — even when it’s messy — and trust that honesty strengthens us
We’ve agreed who decides what and revisit it as we grow — leadership feels shared, not competed for
We focus on outcomes, not egos, conflict becomes creative, not corrosive
We protect space for founder-to-founder check-ins — not about ops, but about us
We review and rebalance roles as the business evolves — clarity beats comfort
We celebrate wins as “ours,” not “mine”, success is shared energy
We pause, zoom out, and use structure (facilitator, frameworks, agreements) to move forward consciously
We reconnect to why we started — restoring purpose and creative flow
We commit to direct, compassionate conversations — no triangulation
We honour both logic and emotion — seeing them as complementary forms of intelligence
We seek help before the damage is permanent — investing in the relationship, not just the business
The shift
When co-founders move from red flags to healthy patterns, performance follows.
Teams feel safer, decisions get faster, and the company regains its creative pulse.
Healthy founder systems don’t avoid tension. They learn to use it as fuel.
About Wouter Gheysen
Wouter Gheysen is a systemic facilitator, business designer, and founder of Out of Our Minds and Systemic Rebels, two initiatives helping leaders and organisations uncover the hidden dynamics that make or break performance.
For more than 10 years, he has guided teams, founders, and executives through the invisible layers of leadership, culture, and collaboration. His work sits at the crossroads of business design, systemic intelligence, and human behaviour, translating deep relational insight into practical, strategic action.
Wouter has supported startups, scale-ups, and leadership teams across Europe in realigning after conflict, rebuilding trust, and creating the clarity needed to grow sustainably.
He combines a background in Industrial Engineering and Business Administration with extensive training in systemic constellations, organisational development, and leadership psychology.
His approach is grounded, experiential, and results-oriented: he helps founders not just fix the symptoms of tension, but redesign the system beneath them.